Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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