I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
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