She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
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