Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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