The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
