I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
