my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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