So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
