Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
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