Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
