Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
