Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
