If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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