i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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