the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize