Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize