I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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