You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
My bed smells like the plague
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
