Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
