awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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