woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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