dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize