So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
