Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
