How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
