Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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