i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
we're chasing vodka with high fives
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
So. Much. Porn.
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