just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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