Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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