Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
