Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
