BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
