apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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