I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
