Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
