If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
