It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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