After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
