It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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