YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
