i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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