Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
