So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
