I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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