Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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