She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
