Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
