This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
