I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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