You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
