Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
When are your genitals available?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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