had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
