I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
