So drunk its hurt
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
