Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap