Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
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