It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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