I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
lol hangovers are for mortals.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
