CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
either way he was missing a nipple.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
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She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?