kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy