I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.