he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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