Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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