kristin has been a bad kristin
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
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I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
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Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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