yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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