If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
