I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
