Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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