please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
